somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
