And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
