i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
