I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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