well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
