i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
