But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize