Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
