she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
