It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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