So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
