you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
