Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
