would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize