I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
