So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
