I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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