WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
