Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
