its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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