just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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