so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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