he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
