Can Purell be used as lube?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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