My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
