So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
