I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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