I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
