I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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