"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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