First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
