i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
