why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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