shes about as inviting as chlamydia
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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