ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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