i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
