I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
