Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I wish you could order shots online.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize