I'm going to jail i love you
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
