I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
so let's talk penis.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He has the fingertips of a God
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