It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize