Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
