Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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