I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
