So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
