I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
