so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
