Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize