it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
