My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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