I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
