why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
3pm strippers are depressing
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
