This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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