Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
