Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
