he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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