Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
