she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
