id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
how do flat chested girls get laid?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
