i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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