She is in my trunk
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Randomize
