Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
