Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
