I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
