Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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