I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
