Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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