How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
