Its about making memories worth repressing
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
