How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
