Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
