I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
