At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
