Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize