just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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