Rock
Scissors
Fuck
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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