You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
