hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
