apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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